Ten Things Churches Waste Money On

I get a lot of catalogs here at the church, all of them wanting me to buy something that will make my ministry better and more effective apparently. I almost get the idea that maybe I’ve  been doing it wrong all this time if I believe the hype.

You see, most churches are just big machines that run on the money of others in order to keep the machine going. It’s not necessarily that the machine does anything for anyone outside the church doors either. It mostly just keeps the church full of stuff and keeps the lights on.

The latest catalog to come through the snail mail is from Living Grace- Affordable Church Supplies Since 1948. I thought I’d glance through it and pick out only ten things that churches spend money on that could be better used for something radical like…evangelism or feeding the poor.

Disclaimer…I had a hard time stopping at ten.

Church Robes

  1. Advent Candles for $19.99. If you must have candles, the cheap ones from the Dollar Tree are just as holy.
  2. Banners of with pictures of what I call “mirthful white Jesus” for $34.99
  3. Legacy Portable Communion Set for $69.99. Seriously, this looks like something Van Helsing would carry his vampire killing supplies in. Make a Steampunk themed Communion box and I’m in.
  4. Prefilled Communion Supplies at $54.99 for a box of 250. Frankly, I’m surprised these don’t have Welch’s logos on the box. Since they don’t I’m assuming it’s the cheap stuff. Isn’t God worth the good grape juice? If you’ve seen Blue Like Jazz, you know you shouldn’t be buying these anyway.
  5. Fancy Brass Communion Tray. For the juice tray, cover, and wafer tray you’re looking at $239.95. Even Jesus never had something so nice.
  6. Church Alter Linen for $69.99. I saw a cool Walking Dead tablecloth the other day for just 9 bucks.
  7. Velvet Offering Bag for $44.99. In a normal church, it would take the tithes and offerings of 15 people to pay for the bag.
  8. Fancy Reserved cloths to lay over the good pews for $9.99. Instead of buying these, how about you just rent out the good pews to the rich folks just like they used to do in the fancy churches.
  9. Maple Hardwood Lectern for $249.99. I bought a table and chair that I use to preach at Ikea for around $50 and I thought that was extravagant.
  10. Robes from $22.99 on up. A lot of big churches make all their men and little boys involved in the services wear dresses. That’s a lot of money for a dude dress my wife could make out of an old sheet. Church toga party?

And there you go. Think about it. Take a look around your church at all the materialism and consumerism that exists while your Pastor, Priest, or other titled guy in a dress want to stand up front and talk about giving. Maybe you should question them on it.

This message was written by Dr. David Powers and the crazy religious wackos at Kapow. You can always find us at www.drdavidpowers.com. Thanks for reading!

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